Justice for Jimmy

I don't get it. In It's A Wonderful Life, how come no one ever discovers that mean old Mr. Potter had Uncle Billy's $8,000 the whole time? Why does he get away with it? It's a huge cinematic plot flaw.

At one point the cast of Saturday Night Live evidentally were haunted by this omission too, so they remedied it themselves in It's A Wonderful Life - The Lost Ending. Mr. Potter finally gets his just desserts. Good grief, is that Captain Kirk introducing the sketch? Merry Christmas!

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Go Retro Video of the Day: Usher and Gene Kelly Make a Splash

I was perhaps a bit too hasty smacking down on CBS' Movies Rock television special a few weeks ago. It actually wasn't that bad. OK, it was pretty good. But only because the performers stayed true to the songs' original arrangements and didn't mess things up too much.

I think my favorite portion was when Usher performed "Singing in the Rain" step-for-step a la Gene Kelly's routine from the 1952 film. Check out the side-by-side video below of the two performers that just got posted on YouTube to see just how spot-on Usher was. I feel wet just watching these two guys. Wait! That came out wrong.

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Boyz II Men II Motown

Image courtesy Amazon.com.

Finally, someone out there who happens to be African American is paying homage to their roots instead of putting out a hip-hop record. Boyz II Men has released a CD called Motown: A Journey Through Hitsville USA and covers such classics as Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me), The Tracks Of My Tears, War, and Mercy Mercy Me. The Boyz performed a choreographed medley on The View last week and said something to the effect that they wanted to bring back the old music before it was forgotten, which was greeted with cheers from the audience. Of course, to quote one of their redone songs, ain't nothing like the real thing, baby, but I'll give these boyz kudos for trying.

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Go Retro's Retro Hottie of the Month: The Abominable Snowman from the Rudolph TV Special

Gadzooks! I nearly forgot! Who else could I pick for December? Danny Kaye from White Christmas? (Sorry, Mr. Kaye.) Yes, this guy is a bit herky jerky but he can't help it - he's a bumble. And bumbles bounce!

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Sock it To Me!

Image courtesy Macys and International Concepts.


Just when I think I've outgrown the 60s-inspired look that clothing lines bring back year after year, INC (International Concepts) has to come out with something groovy to lure me back. This looks like something I wouldn't wear until the spring, but Macy's is selling it now for $89 in case you want to give it as a holiday gift to the flower child in your life. It's cotton but has to be hand washed as there's beaded detail on each of the flowers. Available online at the Macy's site or in Macy's stores in the INC section.

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They Want to Sing it Again

Image courtesy 20th century Fox.

In my opinion, a collection of Christmas songs is not complete unless it contains the 1958 hit The Chipmunk Song - you know, the one that makes some people want to smash their CD player up. Well, you cynics get ready because those cute little critters Simon, Theodore, and Alvin...um, Alvin? ALVIN!!!! are back starting this Friday when the feature film Alvin and The Chipmunks, starring Jason Lee from My Name is Earl, hits theaters. This time around, the rodents have been brought into the 21st century and 3D-ized thanks to the wonders of computer special effects. And they've been sexisized, too, as one of them sings the Pussycat Dolls' "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?" while taking a shower in the dishwasher.

The Chipmunks were originally the brainchild of Ross Bagdasarian, a struggling songwriter whose early claim to fame was cowriting the Rosemary Clooney hit "Come on-a My House." He also had bit parts in Hollywood films, including Rear Window. When he was down to $200 in his savings account with a mortgage and family, he used $190 of it to purchase a tape recording machine which he then used to speed up and slow down vocals. The result was the novelty hit "Witch Doctor" which topped the charts in 1958 and inspired the creation of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Bagdasarian's Chipmunks franchise blossomed throughout the 60s with a cartoon TV show and numerous records, including one where the Chipmunks covered Beatles hits. Bagdasarian died young - at the age of 52 - in 1972, but his son has carried on the legacy to this day.

Bagdasarian and The Chipmunks were featured on yesterday's CBS Sunday Morning show. You can read more about them on the program's site and you can check out more about the Chipmunks movie at their official site.

Continue Reading... Label: 1960s

Oprah Seeking Fanatics Who Had Crushes on "Past" Stars

Picture courtesy BBC.

If you recognize yourself as one of the girls in this photo or pelted Tom Jones with the contents of your lingerie drawer, then Oprah Winfrey is looking for you! I'm subscribed to the Oprah Winfrey Show mailing list, and I couldn't help but notice this on the bottom of one of the recent emails:

Have a HUGE CRUSH on a STAR from the past?
Is there a huge star from the past that makes your heart go pitter-patter? Can you honestly say that you were a celebrity's BIGGEST FAN? Were your bedroom walls papered with posters of this sensation? Did you scribble his or her name all over your notebooks? Who was your celebrity crush from the past? Did you have a major crush on a tv heartthrob...a silver screen sweetheart ...or a rock star? Do you ever wonder where they are now? Are you desperate to meet them? The Oprah Show wants to know who your superstar crush was from the past. Like, totally send us an email and tell us all every detail!

So, if you don't mind making a fool out of yourself on public television by admitting you had a poster of David Cassidy or whomever on your wall, knock yourself out by filling out the online form. But what if your past celebrity crush is dead That's a problem I encounter all of the tiime!

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Movies Rock; These Singers Do Not

Photo courtesy CBS.com. A loudmouth below from the Movies Rock TV special sings "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" while one of her dancers prepares to give her oral sex.

If you like the idea of rappers and untalented divas publicly incinerating some of the most beloved film songs from the 20th century, then tonight's CBS special Movies Rock airing at 9 PM EST is for you. Performers include Beyoncé, Carrie Underwood, Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes, Sir Elton John, Eve, Fergie, Jennifer Hudson, John Legend, John Williams, LL Cool J, LeAnn Rimes, Marc Anthony, Mary J. Blige, Nicole Scherzinger, Queen Latifah, Tony Bennett and Usher and will.i.am. Sam I Am who?

I have no beef with Marc Anthony (unlike his wife, he can actually sing) and Sir Elton John but I've no desire to hear Beyonce sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow as "soooooommmeeeewhhhhhaaaaarrreeeee ovvvvverrrrrrr the rrrr-ay-ay-ay-ay-ain-bowwww!!!" unless my eardrums desire a dose of sadomachism. A better choice for her would've been "If I only had a brain."

Cecil B. DeMille will be turning over in his grave tonight.

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Where Will Clark Kent Change Into Superman Now?

Pay phones, I'm afraid, are about to go the way of the telegraph. AT&T has announced that it is getting out of the phone booth and pay phone business by the end of 2008, since so many people own cell phones now.

The first public coin telephone was installed in a Hartford, Conn., bank in 1889. By 1902, there were 81,000 public pay phones in service in the United States. During the 50s, the phone booth gained notoriety when the fad of "cramming" - or the act of stuffing as many people as possible into a phone booth - became popular among college students.

I think it's sad. I like phone booths. Years from now some kid will be watching an old movie and will ask, "What IS that?" I can't think of Superman without thinking about Clark Kent changing in a phone booth. Verizon still operates some pay phones in the U.S., particularly on the east coast, although I wouldn't be surprised if they yank them eventually as well.

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Knocking on Roll & Roll Heaven's Door

Picture courtesy Amazon.

Oh, untimely death! Along comes a book that is either fascinatingly morbid, or morbidly fascinating, depending on which way you look at it: Rock & Roll Heaven: A Fascinating Guide to Musical Icons Who Have Joined the Great Gig in the Sky, by Robert Dimery and Bruno MacDonald. Here's the description from the inside flap:

Rock & Roll Heaven is a fascinating look at over 100 of popular music’s most famous fatalities, from legendary rockers who lived fast and died young to tragic and self-destructive poet-musicians.

Discover whose body was washed up at the foot of Beale Street, home of the blues. Find out why country legend Gram Parsons’ corpse was stolen. Read about the grisly coincidence that links Keith Moon and Mama Cass.

Artist portraits feature career highlights along with details of their untimely demise, accompanied by stunning photographs.

This is your graveside guide to the final days of some of popular music’s legends. Featuring 120 late-but-great icons that have knocked on heaven’s door or driven down the highway to hell, each entry includes a revealing account of the star’s death, along with a wealth of fascinating facts and tantalizing trivia. Here’s how the end came for . . .

Buddy Holly . . .Died Feb. 3, 1959 . . . Cause: plane crash
Sam Cooke . . .Died Dec. 11, 1964 . . .Cause: gunshot
Jimi Hendrix . . . Died Sept. 18, 1970 . . . Cause: asphyxiation
Janis Joplin . . .Died Oct. 4, 1970 . . .Cause: drug overdose
“Mama” Cass Elliot . . .Died July 29, 1974 . . .Cause: heart attack
John Lennon . . .Died Dec. 8, 1980 . . . Cause: gunshot
Marvin Gaye . . .Died Dec. 28, 1983 . . . Cause: gunshot
Jeff Buckley . . .Died May 29, 1997 . . .Cause: drowned

You’ll get inside stories on these tragedies and many more in Rock & Roll Heaven.

It's retailing for $16.49 on Amazon.

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Godspeed, Evel Knievel

Picture copyright Telegraph Media Group Limited 107.

Rogue stuntman Evel Knievel passed away last week at the age of 69 from multiple health problems.

Robert Craig Knievel began life as a small-time burglar and motorcycle thief in Butte, Montana, which led to his being nicknamed "Evil Knievel" by the police. He changed the spelling and later adopted the moniker as his stage name. Long before extreme sports were invented, Knievel's stunts during the late 60s and 70s propelled him into pop culture icon status, and created a new artform. He survived over 300 jumps and broke 40 bones during his career. An attempt to jump the fountains at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas in 1967 resulted in a 3-month long coma when he lost control of his bike on the way down.

Knievel left his first wife, the mother of his four children, in the early 1980s and married Krystal Kennedy-Knievel in 1999, who was less than half his age. They later divorced, but continued to live together until his death.

His gravesite has actually been waiting since 1974, since he didn't think he would live to see old age. Several tributes were held yesterday in Montana. His final message to his fans was, "chase your dreams and get up if you fall."

Continue Reading... Label: RIP

Speaking of Has-Been 80s Pop Stars with Disappearing Noses

I'm only mentioning this because it is a milestone for my pop culture generation, but Friday marked the 25th anniversary release of the album Thriller. Why was a record that featured clearly a Halloween-themed song released less than a month before Christmas?

I loathe Michael Jackson so much that I couldn't bear to post his picture on my blog, and I can't believe how many girls in my age range had a crush on him when this album came out. He was already so creepy to me - the soft-spoken, effiminate voice, the one glove, Neverland Ranch, etc. You mean no one else could see back then that this was a freak in the making? And while I will admit the album had some good songs on it, the only one I really liked was "The Girl is Mine" - because it was a duet with Paul McCartney. BTW, his sister Latoyota or Latoya or whatever her name is played his love interest in the video of the other song he did with McCartney, "Say Say Say." This didn't raise any red flags in the early 80s?

Anyways, the album still continues to sell 60,000 copies annually. It introduced us to Jackson's trademark dance the moonwalk and was instantly a huge chart success.

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Deborah Gibson's Old Nose is Only In Her Dreams

Image courtesy Star Magazine.

Yes, this is former 80s teen pop star Deborah "don't call her Debbie anymore" Gibson, after a recent nose job. Owen Wilson called - he wants his schnoz back! This is really quite tragic. Deborah was one of the rare few stars whose teenage career didn't mess her up and she recently made a lucrative career for herself on Broadway. I think the doctor that did this to her should be sued up the wazoo.

Here's a picture of Debbie from more innocent times:

Continue Reading... Label: 1980s

If You Like Mike

Picture courtesy ClevelandSeniors.

PBS has started airing Mike Douglas - Moments and Memories. The special is being described as "a profile of talk-show host Mike Douglas (1925-2006) that includes comments from Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart and Yoko Ono, and archival footage from his show, including clips of Tiger Woods, John Lennon and Marlon Brando." Check your local listings for air dates and times in your area.

I hope this classic moment of John Lennon performing with Chuck Berry will be one of the clips shown. In case it isn't, I'm posting it from YouTube here because it's well worth the expression on Berry's face when Yoko begins her famous signature wailing. To be honest, her interuption hardly hurts the already lackluster rendition:

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Old School Sesame Street Full of Bad Role Models

Picture courtesy FunnyPart.com.

This is one for the gimme a break category.

It's recently been revealed that the first two DVD packages of the earliest episodes of Sesame Street (which debuted on PBS in 1969) have warning labels on them that indicate they're "intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child."

The program's executive producer Carol-Lynn Parente told The New York Times that they probably wouldn't be able to show a lot of classic images on Sesame Street today. Cookie Monster is cited as a major criminal for eating all those cookies or smoking a pipe while playing Alistair Cookie.

According to Parente, the Oscar the Grouch character would not be created now. Too grouchy and mean. Snuffleupagus is a reference to hallucinations. And in the very first episode that ever aired, Gordon befriends a lonely little girl, takes her hand and leads her home to meet his wife and eat milk and cookies.

That PBS. Such a live wire for controversial programs (remember the Arthur fiasco about the potentially gay animated character from a few years ago?) Do they not know what kids are watching nowadays? It's ironic how parents will let their brats play nauseatingly violent video games, watch the same kind of crap on TV, have easy access to porn online and in their own house, swear, run around disrupting customers in public places, and allow them to yell and punch them, but yet Cookie Monster is considered "unsuitable."

Continue Reading... Label: Sesame Street

Go Retro Video of the Day: ABC

"I didn't know that Benny Hill directed music videos."

OK, I stole that line from a comment on YouTube, but man, does it fit a video that features a ballerina, clowns, and other characters that look like they came from every 60s movie that Dick Van Dyke made. It's hard to believe that at one time 80s music videos like these were considered cool, but they're also rather innocent compared to what views today on VH1. And I like ABC.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past

It's not often that I make fun of retro items. After all, I'm supposed to be the purveyor of retro redux. I want my suggestions to make your humble abode look like Austin Powers' shagadelic hideaway. But once in a while, I come across something I remember from my childhood that is so hideous, so tacky, and so outdated even for its time that it stops me in my tracks cold. I'm warning you, you may want to half-cover your eyes for this one. Today that something happens to be beaded Christmas ornaments from a long-defunct store called Lee Wards. A few misguided souls are selling these gems on eBay, under the delusion that these things are actually pretty enough to display on your tree.

I remember seeing a collection of these in one of the Christmas ornament boxes we'd lug down from the attic each year and personally, they are so fugly to me now that it's physically painful for me to look at them. I think my sister made these, and I think the notion behind them was that you'd be bejeweling your tree in ornaments that looked like Faberge eggs. Only in the 70s would people think that sticking beads and pins into a styrofoam made good objects d'art. Now seems like an appropriate time to blame the era's home decor on all of that marijuana consumption.

This one's called the Irish Tears design. I'm not Irish but the name must fit because it makes me tear up to look at them.

This egg shaped one reminds me of the egg from Alien. You don't want to stick your face too close to that one!

I remember these suckers were heavy, too, from all of the beads and pins. It would be dangerous to swing one of these babies around; you could easily take someone's eye out. Hmmm...that's the only use for these things: self defense weapons!

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Dreaming of a Very Vintage Christmas? Head to Vermont

For years I’ve been receiving catalogs from The Vermont Country Store without giving them more than a quick flip and a toss into the recycling bag. Unfair, I know, but you can blame it on Bob Newhart. I watched enough damaging episodes of his 80s sitcom to mistakenly believe that Vermonters have as much smarts as Britney Spears on a drug-free day.

Until now. I opened up the latest edition of this unknown gem to hit my mailbox, and – where have you been all my life, Vermont Country Store catalog??? This thing is loaded with retro goodness galore. If you’re looking to recreate a 40s, 50s, or 60s home holiday atmosphere, this is the website to go to.

For starters there’s the silvery tinsel tree and color wheel, “for those dreaming of a very 60s Christmas.” They better watch it with that strapline. If people are dreaming of a very 60s Christmas, the young uns’ better stay away from the punch and brownies! The tree comes in two sizes: 4 feet tall at $79.95, and 6 feet at $129.95. The rotating color wheel is $24.95 and lends an even trippier effect to the tree by changing its color. Far out!

For decorating that tree, you can opt for glass ornaments, percolating “bubble” lights, and non-disposable tinsel. The bubble lights are 11 feet long and retail for $24.95.

For the mantel or display table, The Vermont Country Store offers adorable lighted cardboard villages that were once available in five-and-dime stores. I’ve never seen these anywhere else. Each village consists of three pieces and retails for $39.95. There are also bottle brush trees and Barclay metal figurines to complete the look.

If you’re into candles, they sell several whimsical Christmas figures that were popular in the 50s, including carolers, Santa, and reindeer.

But perhaps best of all, The Vermont Country Store is the supplier of many hard-to-find candies and treats that you won’t see in a supermarket. They have everything from Walnettos to British Quality Street candies to brandy-filled chocolate Santas, not to mention cakes, cookies, and Vermont cheddar cheese. The first 27 pages of their catalog alone are dedicated to their food items.

Not only that, but the catalog is chock full of classic toys (all of which are tested at an American laboratory for those worried about lead contamination) and toiletries that left drugstore shelves many moons ago. In fact, I’d recommend just about anything in the catalog to fellow retromaniacs except for the rather unsexy flannel nightgowns – unless you’re looking for a new method of birth control. Victoria’s Secret they’re not, but Vermont Vintage they are.

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Was It The Spring? No, It Was the Riding Crop!

Layla was about Pattie Boyd, Maggie May was about an older woman that Rod Stewart had a relationship with, and Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline was about...Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Diamond recently revealed the muse for his famous song at Schlossberg's 50th birthday celebration last week. According to the Associated Press, Diamond confessed that he had seen a photo of young Caroline in a news magazine, dressed in her riding gear, and was inspired by the "innocent, wonderful" picture. Several years later he wrote the song in a Memphis hotel room.

I'm so thankful for that last part. Taken out of context, that admission sounds a bit like the makings of a child molester. I mean, the song does sing about "hands touching hands" and "warmth touching warmth." But we know Neil was better than that. And this was a more innocent time, after all.

Still, I don't need to know who Kentucky Woman was about...

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Sooooo Much Better Than Madonna's Rags

Finally, H&M is giving me a good reason to shop at their stores: they announced a partnership with Finnish fabric manufacturer Marimekko to produce about 50 items of clothing for their spring 2008 collection, to be released in April. Marimekko will be digging up retro patterns from the 50s through the 70s for the clothing line, and will feature tunics and dresses as well as shirts and shorts for men. Men? As much as I'd love to see a retro daddy wearing a patterned shirt, I doubt any straight guys will be caught dead in Marimekko, but at least H+M is going to try. Could turn out to be a waste of good fabric.

Continue Reading... Label: 1960s

Off to The Big Grocery Store in the Sky

Picture courtesy TVLand.

No more warnings not to squeeze the Charmin! Dick Wilson, the actor whose most famous role was playing Mr. Whipple the grocer in over 500 Charmin commercials during a 21-year period, passed away today. He was 91. The first Charmin ad featuring Wilson aired in 1964, and immediately his character and the product's tagline secured a place in memorable pop culture history.

Born in England in 1916, he was the son of a vaudeville entertainer and a singer. The family moved to Canada when he was a child, and he served in the Canadian Air Force during World War II, and became a U.S. citizen in 1954.

In addition to Melanie, Wilson is survived by his wife, Meg; a son, Stuart; and another daughter, Wendy.

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Layla's Layout Online

I know I've been posting a lot about Pattie Boyd lately, but the woman's life kind of fascinates me. How many girls can say they were married to two of rock and roll's greatest? Now I've just discovered her official website. It's chock full of personal photos of her and George Harrison, and even more of her with Eric Clapton. Check out the Polaroids section. Clapton apparently likes animals as much as he liked alcohol. There are a few pictures where he obviously looks stoned.

I seriously think these two crazy kids need to get back together. Never mind that Clapton married a graphic designer half his age. It's pretty obvious that he and Pattie still carry torches for each other. What are the odds that the both of them released autobiographies within weeks of each other? They'd make a better couple now in their wiser older age and without the drugs and booze.

Continue Reading... Label: 1960s

Yeah, It's Been One of Those Weeks

A little Friday sendoff for everybody...

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Choking Smokers, Don't You Know the Joker Laughs at You?

One way we definitely DON'T want you to go retro is by smoking. Today is the Great American Smokeout, so snuff out the cancer sticks! Never mind what doctors used to say.

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