The Land That Made Me, Me

My friend sent me this poem and it seemed appropriate for the blog. There was no author attached to it, but it definitely sound like it was written by a baby boomer waxing nostalgic. Now before you read it...I wouldn't say that everything mentioned in it was necessarily a good thing to have in the world. Castro, freak shows, being considered middle aged when you turn 35...glad to see those get the old heave-ho. Also there were some misspelled names in this poem that I corrected before posting...imagine, I know how to spell these names better than someone who lived through the era!



The Land That Made Me, Me

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
And this created the Land That Made Me, Me

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
And navela were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our 'Prince'
And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
We danced to 'Little Darlin', and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land that Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see,
A boy named George with lipstick, in the Land that made me, me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice
We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land that Made Me, Me

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land that Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land that Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, And Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of Microwaves, Or Telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they werent' grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free
And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We haden't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag.
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag
And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
And coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Floride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned panty hose or Lipton Herbal Tea,
Or prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda.
And Cats were not called Bill.

Middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Mabelline, we swear by Retin-A
They send us invitations to join AARP
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans.
And wonder why they use small print in all the magazines
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me. Me