Frightening Festive Food

'Tis the season for odd looking vintage holiday food. There's no fruitcake here, but plenty of other curious concoctions that I came across that would make even poor Santa gag! Some came from Flickr; others I found through a really neat blog mostly made up of vintage ads called The Retro Press (sadly, there's been no new entries as of October.) You can click on each ad for a larger view. As our old friend Julia would say, bon appetite...

Maybe this Christmas Belle cake is not so bad - I just take issue with the silver dragees on top. Those things will break your teeth, not to mention their labels usually say, "for decoration only" indicating that they may be toxic. But, what didn't we eat in the 50s-80s that wasn't?



This eggnog looks more like dip!



Nothing like good old fashioned artery-clogging melted fat to make that holiday pie taste better.



It wouldn't be the holidays without unappetizing bits of food suspended in Jello. As a bonus, we're treated to a personal wartime message from Kate Smith (you know it's personal because she's addressing us as "folks")...along with a plug to buy her book.



More Jello, and slimey-looking pears (thankfully, without the partridges to accompany them.)



It's hard to see, but there's a recipe for some sort of Christmas tree salad at the bottom of this Carnation ad. I'm sure that's exactly why these little boys are so excited about as they rush down the stairs on Christmas morning...right.




Sure, I'll make it a fruit juice Xmas with one of these...and plenty of vodka, please.



Following the pineapple theme, some kind creative 70s soul thought that if you stuck cheese and maraschino cherries in one, hey, it looks just like a Christmas tree!



Wow, a flaming dessert wreath as a centerpiece for your table. Try to top that one, Martha Stewart.