Is it unreasonable for a real person to have a problem with a fictional television character? I don’t think so when the character in question is Debra Barone, aka Patricia Heaton, of Everybody Loves Raymond fame. Sure, she can be cute and perky sometimes, but more often than not every time I catch a rerun of the show I want to yell, “You’re an ungrateful bitch!” at the TV screen.
You see, as someone who’s female and single I’m here to tell you (and Mrs. Barone) that Raymond Barone is a catch. Don’t get me wrong – Raymond is definitely a doofus at times and a mama’s boy – but compared to what’s out there in singleton? At least Raymond can talk to people, has a good job, is a good dad to those three annoying kids, helps out with housework (sometimes) and is funny and kind. And he’s cute. And how does Debra reward him for fulfilling his husbandly duties? By consistently bitching and whining and withholding sex from him. The keys to any successful marriage!
Sexy time is always a failure for these two. Despite having homely twin boys and an obnoxious daughter, these two are rarely dancing in the sheets. It’s not like Ray never tried to be romantic. He once purchased a massager meant to help relax Debra. Instead it got in her hair. Little Miss Prissy had a hissy fit and said it killed her mood. Tsk. Imagine that! The rare time that they had sex three times in one week (a record, as Raymond told his friends and brother) it turns out it was only because Debra was getting inspired by her hunky aerobics instructor (Raymond’s freestyle moves during the routine remains one of my funniest moments in my personal television watching history.)
Of course, it cannot be easy living next door to Raymond’s parents, Frank and Marie Barone, but isn’t that what locks and house alarms are for? Who leaves their doors unlocked? Just turn off all of the lights and pretend that nobody is home! Or, how about actually cleaning that disaster zone that masquerades as your residence for once and for all and banishing all of the kids’ toys into storage boxes upstairs? How about actually leaning how to cook so that your husband doesn’t gag at every dinnertime? Both of which would at least help her be better friends with Marie.Plus, Debra should thank her lucky stars that the Barones are nothing like Robert's wife Amy's family - now that is a trainwreck!
Maybe Debra's problem is that she's been stuck in that messy house with the kids for too long. She actually tried going back to work once – it was a fail. Get this: she actually got a job at an advertising agency! Faster then you can say, “would somebody please get Peggy Olson in here” her boss showed her the door. She had come up with a remarkable pizza campaign that featured a cartoon character called “Professor Pete Za.” At Sterling Cooper, she wouldn't have lasted 45 minutes. Then, when Raymond actually went to the agency and lobbied with the owner to give Debra another chance, she actually got really pissed. Go figure – there’s just no pleasing the woman.
She better watch herself, because it's rough out there for middle aged single moms looking for romance. Her forays into flirting at the local supermarket didn't exactly work out - male shoppers ignored her and the produce man nearly had her tossed from the store for stalking.
She better watch herself, because it's rough out there for middle aged single moms looking for romance. Her forays into flirting at the local supermarket didn't exactly work out - male shoppers ignored her and the produce man nearly had her tossed from the store for stalking.
Maybe Ray and Debra are no longer together in the year 2010. I’m willing to bet that if they were still coming into our homes each week, they’d be divorced by now. The kids would be in college by now, and Raymond would have taken up with a younger, tall blonde, someone who bears a striking resemblance to me. Sorry, Debra.
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